Review : Wild Wild West (1999/PG-13)

We know what you’re thinking, come on Wild Wild West, isn’t that a very terrible movie? Well what is terrible considering the movies that will smith and Barry Somenfeild have done after 1999 (for the record we like Men in Black II.) but here’s what we think is the real story, critics who don’t know anything were looking to take down a big budge picture and they found one the problem is is that we didn’t know how bad movies post 2000 would be in hindsight this is actually a pretty decent film. But you’re saying it’s nothing like the TV show, true but we’ve never seen the TV show honestly we don’t even know if reruns of it’s are the air now or if it was on the air in 1999 (we actually brought this fact up in original review back in 1999. If you want the TV show go see the damn TV show.) To us this is an original story it’s almost men in black out west. Again we’re going to give credit to one person Kenneth Branagh, yes the director of Cinderella he’s also an actor he was also in the second harry potter movie and he does a great job as Dr. Arliss Loveless in this film and once again, one performance can save a whole movie. Taking this film for what it is, a big budget goofy cheesy comedy action film it works, trying to figure out anything deeper then it’s like why the producer is so adamant on a giant spider you’re going to be shaking your head at it. Bottom line it’s two hours of entertainment that’s all people want to be entertained if you want anything deeper you’re in the wrong ballpark we recommend go see it, a decent summer flick.

Wild Wild West Trailer (Warner Bros/1999)

On a scale of 1.0 to 5.9 it got a 4.1 out of 5.9

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Review : Attack of the 50 Ft Cheerleader (2012/R)

If there is one thing we give credit to, it’s that producer Roger Corman had survived in film business for over 50 years and mentored many of movies great film directors and stars. That said he also survived so long being the king of B-Movies which leads us to the review of this intesting find on Netflix, Attack of the 50 FT Cheerleader. Yes this is a B-Movie, has a shitty story, and obligatory tits shots, but it also had John Landis and Sean Young in cameo roles, so this is hard to judge. When looking at this film as eye candy B-Movie shlock that you watch with a few drinks, then it totally works and feels like and homage to classic 60s and 70s Roger Corman produced films. However when looking at this as art or anything trying to be main stream entertainment it fails on all levels. The world needs B-Movies and mindless entertainment and when your in the mood for it then it’s fun.

On a scale of 1.0 to 5.9 it got a 4.5 out of 5.9

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Review : Into The Woods (2014/PG)

You don’t often hear the words Disney gangbang but that’s what Into the Woods feels like. From that giant tree like level 1 in Ocarina of Time to that 72 hour time limit like Majoras Mask, but less frustrating this feels like a pop culture copy. Now Johnny Deep as a wolf, were giving thumbs up on that, however we have to fucking ask yet again, why is everyone British? This is based on an American play why does everyone need a fucking British accent, we fought a revolution so we didn’t have hear British accents! So what else did we notice aside from accents, this is basically Cinderella, little red riding hood, Jack and the bean stalk, and repunzel, all in a blender (and that’s not always a good mix.) Hey wait a sec Captain Kirk is a prince in this movie? Who knew! Basically we can say the TV show Once upon a time ripped this movie off as it opened on Broadway in 1987, however it has a fractured fairytales vibe to it (and that aired in the 1960s.) We did like the up comeance for antagonistic characters but before you think this is a positive review however, a stupid plot twist ruins the ending and goes all Star Trek 2 on us, that’s automatically disqualification for a 4.0 score or higher, we hate, absolutely hate melowdrama for the sake of melowdrama, this is why our TV show reviews get such bottom of the barrel low scores, and Into the Woods dunked itself deep in that.

Into The Woods Trailer (Walt Disney Pictures/2014)

On a scale of 1.0 to 5.9 it got a 2.2 out of 5.9



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The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (2013/PG)

When it comes to movies we have to ask why doesn’t Ben Stiller just direct every movie he stars in? We’ve seen nearly every film he’s directed (Reality Bites being the lone exception) and always have a big thumbs up (yes we liked The Cable Guy which might have been a bit a head of its time in dark humor back in 1996.) But before we go off on a tangent and start insulting Meet the Parents or There’s Something About Mary, let’s get back on track and talk about The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. It’s a very whimsical and creative story, with Walter’s daydreaming it’s fun to see the story go from everyday normal to full fantasy in a blink of an eye. Ben Stiller and accelerates at playing the shy kind of mousy every day man. Honestly heading out direct this movie we probably would’ve been trashing it for saying it’s more the same Horse crap he’s always done but when he directed to give it a certain kind of flair where it works such as seen in Zoolander. We’re also going to point out Adam Scott once again plays the resident asshole of the movie sure we’ve only seen a couple of his films but when he seems he playing the same character over and over we’re going to kind of start putting you in the one note actor category. Overall the store was simplistic and simple and a little slow and based on the 1940s short story there’s nothing wrong with that but at the end of the day it’s a good film to unwind too but only if your just needing some relax time.

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty trailer (20th Century Fox/2013)

On a scale of 1.0 to 5.9 it got a 4.7 out of 5.9

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