Review: Disney Quest

It can be considered the “fifth” park at Walt Disney World. We know you’re probably scratching your head going what no they’re only four parks at Walt Disney World, and you’ll be right, but this “park” was actually going to be a franchise around the country, we are talking about Disney Quest. The one that stands here at downtown Disney in Orlando Florida was actually one of two, the other one open for short period of time in Chicago Illinois but closed in 2001. The idea was for cities you didn’t have access to Disney World or Disneyland, honestly we think this would it work if it was in the cities of St. Louis and Denver Colorado not Chicago where there’s a lot to compete with. But enough about locations let’s talk about what’s inside. Honestly since it’s at downtown Disney not a lot of effort has been put into keeping it up with the times over the past 15 or so years and has a very circa 2002 feeling to it, well that’s not a bad thing the dated this is what makes people of little leery about it. However there are plenty a ride we went on such a cyber space Mountain which is actually a more intense version of the sum of all thrills at Epcot which didn’t openin innovations until around 2009, and unlike some of all thrills, cyber space Mountain actually will turn you upside down which is an awesome awesome feeling if you’re scared of roller coasters. There’s also a tie in attraction to the Alien Extraterroresrial Encounter attraction at the Magic Kingdom which is now home to Stichs Great Escape. The virtual jungle Cruise is pretty fun and there are plenty of video games for free such as Fix-It Felix Junior (from the film Wreck It Ralph) there are also plenty of arcade games you would find at your local Dave and busters and again they’re all free play. One attraction we liked was the Pirates of the Caribbean where using cannons that kind of resemble the ones you see on toy story Midway mania and also wearing 3-D glasses you Hunt after pirate ships and steal their treasure in a battle on the virtual high seas. While yes it’s true Disney quest will be closing we think it’s actually a fun place to go and honestly had a bit of Mid-America and not huge Chicago these would be all over the place today.

On a scale of 1.0 to 5.9 it got a 4.5 out of 5.9

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Review: Meet The Parents (2000/PG-13)

This year we celebrate our 21st anniversay, its time we go back and once again review of film saw when we just celebrating our 5th anniversary. We’ve made no secret that the year 2000 is what ass raped, killed, set the corpse on fire, put it out by pissing on it, ass raping it one more time, then farting on it for good nature, did to movies. But wait your saying, 2000 brought us such movies as Erin Brockovich, and The Road to El Dorado, but also it brought us Mission to Mars, Rules of Engagement, Gladiator, and Meet The Parents. Those are four of the worst films ever made and this is about the last one on that list. This is this is one of the few times we just have nothing to stay about a film. The one dementioal,wooden  characters, the stuipid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid insulting sitcom comedy of errors plot, that even the campy and hokey Threes Company in the late 70s and 80s would have found sub par. Robert Deniro and Ben Stiller playing so one note characters we had to try everything in our power not to just walk out of the movie  half way though it (yes its that bad we rememeber how much of a terrible experence it was all these years later) Jay Roach the director owes us $6.50 for this abortion of a motion picture, and we still can’t belive his name is on this putid pile of rancid horse shit, considering he directed the hillarious and comedy tour de-force Austin Powers trilogy.

Meet The Parents Trailer (Universal Pictures/2000)
On a scale of 1.0 to 5.9 it got at 1.0 out of 5.9

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Review: Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (With Rifftrax) / (1982/2011 / PG)

Wait, wait, whoa, hold on a second, your probably saying to yourself, didn’t we already review Star Trek 2 along with Star Trek 12, back on April 21st, 2015? Yes your right, but once again since this one of the few movies we own that we hate (because damn it we need to own all six movies) this film is also the gift that keeps on giving with reviews. We’re actually not here to review the film again, we’re here to review the making fun of the film thanks to those guys over at Rifftrax. First off what is Rifftrax, you may ask. Well did you ever see the show Mystery Science Theater 3000 back in the 90s? You didn’t? Ok go take a lap we’ll wait… You back? Good lets continue. Basically it was a show where three guys (well a guy and two robot puppets) would riff on old moves while watching them. Fast forward to today and they brought the idea online by providing riffs for current movies, all you have to do is provide your own DVD or Bluray and sync it. Much like in 2012 when we tried it with another film we hate, Empire Strikes Back, we thought it high time Star Trek 2 got this treatment. Basically we all know we chastise this movie for piss poor relation to source material and fundamental lack of understanding of how the bulk of Star Trek works. The Rifftrax we watched finally gave this mediocre turd watchabilty and the humor made it a treat to watch as every scene brought in more and more funny off the wall jokes. Such as when Kahn says to Kirk “I’ve done far worse to you….” Mike Nelson on the Rifftrax commentary chimes in doing a Ricardo Mantalbon impersonation “I slept with your mom.” Of course we can’t forget the numerous “Oh My” George Takei references (for non Star Trek watchers his character Sulu never once actually said that in any of the shows or movies, it wasn’t years later til he did a TV commercial.) In the end if your a freak and like this movie (which you shouldn’t as we’ve mentioned countless times on here) the riff trax breathes new life in a 30 plus year old poorly written pile of garbage and makes it truely an enjoyable treat that can make it watchable something writer director Nicholas Meyer failed miserably to do with the actual movie.

Rifftrax Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn preview (Rifftrax/2011)
On a scale of 1.0 to 5.9 it got a 5.5 out of 5.9*

*This is the Rifftrax score only, and does not alter the Star Trek II low score of 1.0

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Review : Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002/PG-13)

Usually the third time out is when the series starts to run out of steam. So how does this movie stack up especially when it had to live up to Austin Powers: The spy who shagged me which is considered the best of the trilogy. Honestly the first time we saw this back in 2002 on opening day we thought it was an ok film, it wasn’t until we bought it on DVD for Christmas 2002 and then watched it over and over again did the movie start to grow on us. It’s the fact it has rewatch ability that makes it work, yes the jokes are a little bit recycled and even the movie itself references that it really hilarious way. Yes the series does peak with The Spy who Shagged Me but Goldmember is almost extension of the movie it’s a sequel but that the fact they brought everyone back from the second one including everyone loved in the second and not just in cameo parts is why the film is so fun.

Austin Powers in Goldmember (New Line Cinema/2002)
On a scale of 1.0 to 5.9 it got a 5.6 out of 5.9

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Friday special: This years movie anniversaries!

Once again a new year and new list of what films are celebrating an anniversary this year lets start with five…

Released 5 years ago…

The Muppets

Cars 2

Pirates of the Carribean: On Stranger Tides

The Hangover Part II
Released 10 Years Ago…

Talledega Nights

Casino Royale (worst bond film ever)

Stranger then Fiction (one of the worst films ever)

Pirates of the Carribean Dead Mans Chest

Cars

Scary Movie 4

Over the Hedge
Released 15 years ago…

Shrek

Harry Potter and the sorcerers stone

Oceans 11

Not Another Teen Movie

Zoolander

Monsters Inc

Joe Dirt

Scary Movie 2

American Pie 2
Released 20 years ago…

Independence Day

Jack

The Cable Guy

Twister

The Nutty Professor

The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Happy Gilmore

Down Periscope

Spy Hard

Striptease

The Frighteners

Kingpin

That Thing You Do!

High School High

Star Trek First Contact

Scream

Bravia & Butthead Do America

Kids in the Hall Brain Candy
Released 25 years ago…

T2 judgement day

Beauty and the Beast

Hot Shots!

The Naked Gun 2 1/2 The Smell of Fear

Backdraft

City Slickers 

 The Rocketeer

Problem Child 2

Necessary Roughness

My Girl
Released 30 years ago…

Short Circuit

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home

Ferris Buellers Day Off

The Money Pit

Poltetgeist II: The Other Side

SpaceCamp

The Great Mouse Detective

Howard the Duck

The Boy Who Could Fly

Three Amigos

Flight of the Navigator
Released 35 years ago…

Raiders of the Lost Ark

Stripes

For Your Eyes Only

Stripes

Body Heat

My Dinner with Andre
Released 40 years ago…

Rocky

The Omen

Silent Movie

Carrie

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