Review: Jurrasic Park – Rifftrax (1993/2008)

Look Will admit we are in the minority when it comes to preferring the lost world over Jurassic Park. In fact even when we saw this film way back in theaters in 1993 we thought it was a little overrated. And just like anything that is overrated it sometimes need to have a little slap upside The head, with that said it’s time to rifftrax Jurrasic Park. Normally on a RiffTrax you have Mike, Kevin, and Bill as your three main riffers, this time however it’s Mike joined by weird Al Yankovic. And boy do they hit a homerun with Mike coming from mystery science theater 3000 and weird Al coming from the parity genre this was a match made in heaven. Yes the movie doesn’t change all that much but the riffing of the movie is what makes it a hilarious experience.

On a scale of 1.0 to 5.9 it got a 5.5 out of 5.9

Batman vs Superman (2016/PG-13)

Yawn! That’s how we can summarize this movie in one word. Then again is that really a word to begin with? Hell our cats yawn, in fact let’s have them write part of this review. Here kitties! Who wants to write a review.

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Yeah see that pile of mess, that’s basically what this film came out to be. Who is to blame for that train wreck, well that’s simple the director Zack Snyder. We still have no idea what the fuck Watchmen was really tryin to be about back in 2009, blue dick and all. See that’s this directors main problem, he suffers from the same thing that CSI suffered from when it was the new hot shit in Hollywood. All flash and no substance. The Dark Knight in 2008 was  perfect Batman movie because it has a good story under the hood. The more comic book stilzed Batman Forever in 1995 was able to be more style but still had bit of substance to its slightly campy story. Hell you want to talk about camp, let’s go back to 1978 and the Superman movie which is just a big real estate scam,  but still the top notch actors and director made it a story of substance. This movies problem is that it’s just trying to be dark and grity and boringly tell a story of two the Giants of the DC universe. Get a pillow and lay down as this film is your cure of insomnia.

On a scale of 1.0 to 5.9 it got a 2.1 out of 5.9

Review: Suicide Squad (2016/PG-13)

We’re not super into comic book based movies, so we don’t have a god in the DC / Marvel fight.

That said we did see the dark Knight we didn’t care for the dark Knight rises or Batman begins and we did see all the previous Batman’s before the Christopher Nolan reboot, so we worked blindly walking in to suicide squad.

What did we think of this film well, it’s OK yes the ultimate bad guy seems to be a little too stock villain. We love the scenes with the joker and of course Harley Quinn stole the show. Honestly this felt like the bad guy version of the avengers and again while we’re not into comic book movies as a whole it was a good popcorn flicks maybe you could see it in the dollar theater or catching on cable it’s not one of those you must run to see.

On a scale of 1.0 to 5.9 it got a 4.4 out of 5.9

Review: Captain America: Civil War (2016/PG-13)

There back (well almost all of them) in Captain America: Civil War. Basically sans Thor and Hulk this more or less Avengers 3. While it was an all around decent flick with the humor of Iron Man and the addition of Spider Man an AntMan, this seems more political with the team split over the collateral damage done when fighting bad guys.

It’s a plot that looks more like it could fit within an ark of Agents of SHEILD but once again the characters make it work. While the whole civil war thing looks like the end of the team we all know that won’t be the case. Honestly we would have like to see Deadpool show up but still it’s a good popcorn movie.

On a scale of 1.0 to 5.9 it got a 4.8 out of 5.9

Review: Star Trek Beyond (2016/PG-13)

We don’t know why everyone thinks Star Wars is the hot shit. There’s only seven of those movies and outer 13 (yes 13) movies of Star Trek. So how does this one stack up against the other 12. First off we can tell you it’s a hell of a lot better than Genesis and Star Trek to the wrath of con in fact this is one of the best Star Trek movie since first contact released way back in 1996. This one is all fun as a lot of good comity it and honestly we think Simon Pegg should just write every Star Trek movie from now on. Star Trek be on excels by giving all the character would equal things to do in the film. Of course our favorite is bones and it was a very Nice pairing with Spock. As for the villain yes it’s the standard sci-fi bad guy but that’s pretty much what is in all Star Wars and Star Trek movies now. This is the cream of the Star Trek crop and is worth a watch to rewatch it even buying on Blu-ray or digital. Best of all without JJ Abrams directing it there are no lunch Blairs finally we get to see what Star Trek look like againafter almost 15 years.
On a

after almost 15 years.

On a scale of 1.0 to 5.9 it got a 5.6 out of 5.9

Review: Tropic Thunder (2008/R)

Let’s say it right now Ben Stiller should just direct every movie he stars and then everything would be good. In a nutshell what is this movie well it’s a parody of all those war films from the 80s and 90s that are semi-biographical. But also this is about the studio system of Hollywood and basically also a giant middle finger and fuck you do that same establishment. Tropic thunder works because it shows how actors give me phonies or how everyone into a genre or exactly just why people are in a need to be in a movie. And of course the phonies of the drugs and everything that makes Hollywood a superficial self-centered piece of shit it is.

Course the character Les Grossman steals the show as showing exactly what is wrong with Hollywood in the past 20 years this of course is a dark biting satire and it works so well this is probably one of the best movies of the 2000s decade which unto it self is a low point in Hollywood history.

On a scale of 1.0 5.9 it got a 5.4 out of 5.9.

Review: Ted 2 (2015/R)

When we saw the trailer for the original Ted back in 2012 we thought to think it’s either this is one of the most original ideas in a long time or this is single-handedly about to ruin septic darlings career. However the former versus the latter was true and although we thought the ending was sloppy we gavethe first Ted a pretty good review. Fast for three years now it’s time for the sequel Ted 2. We actually like this movie better than the original sure it’s still on the pot and read them or jokes but that’s what makes it so funny wants to give kudos to Patrick Warburton character being the boyfriend of a character played by Michael Dorn then going to a convention in a tick outfit and a tenant work outfit in being a crap out of nerds. The pop culture References are what makes the movie work. 

On a scale of 1.0 to 5.9 it got a 4.7 out of 5.9