Friday Special: Editorial – Excessive movie running times and film makers disrespect of viewers time

Dear Filmmakers,

In the ever-evolving landscape of cinema, it’s essential to address a growing concern that has subtly infiltrated the art of storytelling on the silver screen: the length of movies. As audiences, we’ve witnessed a significant shift in recent years, with many films surpassing the two-hour mark and venturing into marathon territory. While the love for immersive narratives is understandable, the incessant trend towards three-hour-plus runtimes demands a closer examination, particularly when considering the value of the audience’s time.

Filmmakers, you hold a powerful sway over the collective cinematic experience, crafting worlds that captivate and stories that linger. However, in the pursuit of delivering epic narratives, there appears to be a disregard for the precious commodity of time. The cinematic landscape is now littered with films that demand a substantial time investment, often exceeding what many viewers can comfortably commit to.

It’s hypocritical to call for a return to theaters, urging audiences to embrace the communal magic of the big screen, while simultaneously burdening them with films that stretch well beyond reasonable attention spans. A three-hour movie becomes a half-day commitment when considering travel time to and from the theater, not to mention the prelude of trailers and commercials. This extended duration places an undue burden on viewers, discouraging them from participating in the very theater experience you champion.

Pacing issues inevitably emerge in lengthy films, and it’s imperative for filmmakers to recognize that brevity can be a virtue. A well-edited, tightly paced narrative not only respects the viewer’s time but also enhances the overall impact of the story. There’s a fine balance to be struck between depth and conciseness, and it’s a skill that deserves meticulous attention in the filmmaking process.

In this era of instant gratification and shortened attention spans, the cinematic experience should be a dynamic dance that respects the audience’s time constraints. As guardians of storytelling, filmmakers, we implore you to reflect on the length of your creations. Let us not sacrifice the essence of storytelling at the altar of runtime. Embrace the challenge of conveying profound narratives within a reasonable timeframe, rekindling the allure of the theater without burdening the audience.

Friday Special: The Late Show with Stephen Colbert – An Exercise in Destroying a Franchise.

Stephen Colbert and his writers took the 22 year legacy of prestige, with class, and then basically raped it as hard as they could before killing it and flushing it’s quivering lifeless corpse down the toilet after dismembering it with a rusty broken hacksaw. In fact hack is the word that best describes what the “real Stephen Colbert” is. That piddly ass horse shit of playing a blow hard political pundit belongs on cable television back in 2005 where it made sense. Not on broadcast television where the overly loud obnoxious audience, who remind us of the later terrible seasons of Married With Children in 1995, make you want to throw the remote at the screen so hard you’ll break it because it’s easiest and fastest way to make it go away. WE DON’T WANT TO WATCH THE CLOBERT REPORT! We want the The Late Show. Three painfully unfunny minuets with a demonic skull as another unfunny excuse to tell who the sponsor was, is total bullshit and amateur bush league stuff. When we fast forward through a chunk of the show and deleted it off our DVR after only watching 27 minuets this is without a doubt the worst talk show we’ve ever seen. Even the order it was executed was wrong. Show open first, then the monologue, and for fuck sake hire a goddamn announcer, your not Craig Kilborn on The Daily Show back in 1998. True we don’t watch the Tonight Show even though Jimmy Fallon destroyed that by making it a show about skits and stupid games, but we stopped watching that in 1993 under Jay Leno when David Letrrman started his show, so since we never watched it we don’t care if it was destroyed, this show however we did watch. We hope the ratings for this drop and the affiliates revolt as that will be the only way the Late Show will be saved.

On a scale of 1.0 to 5.9 it got a 1.0 out of 5.9

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Friday Special : 57 minutes after the hour, serlized TV drama’s crutch.

We hate hour long serlized TV drama. Not only has it killed broadcast, cable, and premium TV shows (yeah we’re including you to Netflix) they are basically time sponges. The golden rule we have is “Respect our time.” and the big issue is they don’t and never will. So why is that? Simple the whole episode in effect is to drag the story out 13 or 22 episodes and basically beholden to a small little exchange that makes whole plot clumsily lurch forward at 57 minutes past the hour. Basically it’s no diffrent then porn, it’s all tease and that one money shot. Honestly we think at least porn has better plots and isn’t serialsized (well aside from Biggest Gang Bang in the Universe 27, and All Anal Olympics 19) unlike most of the horse shit that passes for TV drama today. Look the main issue is have an underlying ark for the whole season, but make it fucking more subtle! Are TV shows so afraid to do single episodes again because people might not watch next week? Hmm to us that sounds like over all bad writing and weak over all characters. But in the end by suckering you into watching 57 minuets for one teaseable line, TV drama has become not only lazy but insulting to you as the viewer.

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Friday Special : Frozen Fever (2015/G)

Well it’s too short to be a movie review, yet it’s still techinally a film, so how about we make it a Friday Special, and quickly look all 7 minuets that is Frozen Fever. First off let’s adress the rumors that a Frozen sequel is happening (we think it should be titled Thawed) if it does you can think of this as Frozen 1.5. Basically this takes the whole Elsa can make life with her powers and amplifies it. Honestly while funny it’s just an excuse for a music video sing along and more Olaf which is what the fans want. We can tell they recycled animation of Anna sleeping, and a lot of their dresses tie into items and displays we saw at the Epcot Flower and Garden Festival. Bottom line it’s cute but just wait til it’s posted online by Disney themselves.

Frozen Fever Trailer (Walt Disney Pictures/2015)

On a scale of 1.0 to 5.9 it got a 4.6 out of 5.9

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