Review: Moana (2016/PG)

We’ve seen it before when Disney releases two of the same genre films in the same year. In 2003 it was films based on there theme park rides, Pirates of the Carribean in the summer and the Haunted Mansion in the autumn of the year, with the later being the lesser of the two films. In 2016 Disney did it again but this time with the animated film genre with Zootopia in the spring and Moana in the autumn. 

With the setup it begs the question is Moana the weaker of the two?  Well the answer is, what do you prefer, a straight up animated comedy like Zootopia, or in the case of Moana an epic Broadway style film.  While we like some songs when they are weaved into the story like the Little Mermaid, or Aladdin did, our only gripe with this file was it felt like too many musical numbers where shoehorned into the movie.  How about the story itself? It was well crafted and the comedy hit on all the right notes. We did notice that sea fairing tale did remind us of the Nintendo DS game The Ledgend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass, with most of action scenes taking place on islands which is akin to dungeons/levels of the Zelda series.

So is this film worth your time? Well if you like musical yes it is. If you like your musical with a side of adventure, yes it is. If your looking for a more straight up comedy, wait til you find it as a deal for rental on iTunes.
On a scale from 1.0 to 5.9 it got a 4.5 out of 5.9  


Review: Finding Dory 2016/PG)

Yes back in 2003 during our first decade we saw Finding Nemo is the theaters back when we based out of Augusta, Georgia. Now while it’s was running in the same Pixar playbook that wasn’t yet showing its cracks the formula worked. That in mind fast forward 13 years and we get a semi sequel, Finding Dory.

So far everyone has been using the whole Toy Story 2 vs Cars 2 in how this film should stack up, but we liked both those films better then the first one, so how about Toy Sotry 2 vs the rancid shit fest that was Toy Story 3 (yes one day we’ll get around to reviewing that.) In that case Finding Dory outshines the original in every respect, characters, locations, story, every single one is a winner.

Honestly less Marlin is more as his extreme nuriotic behavior was the major fail of the original movie. With this film much like Toy Story 2 you go to bigger and better places. Hank the Ocotpus is the new breakout Pixar character and he alone helps an ending that’s so over the top is an instant comedy classic.

On a scale of 1.0 to 5.9 it got a 5.0 out of 5.9

Review: E.T. The Extraterrestrial (1982/PG)

We rode the ride at Universal Studios Florida, we’ve played the video game on the Atari 2600 (yes we still have an Atari 2600.) But how does the movie that all of these are based on still hold up after 30+ years, that’s right we’re talking about ET The extraterrestrial. The story of course is timeless this is back during the Golden age of Spielberg when he was cranking out such shit as Raiders of the lost Ark and producing such memorable films as back to the future. However the simplicity of a boy wanting a friend coming from the stars holds true to this day. In fact take out all the 80s technology references and you can still see how well this film holds up. Waterview the plot we all know the story it’s because it’s such a timeless classic that will recommend you watch it now on demand or in high definition which looks perfectly pristine in fact the original 1982 nine walkie-talkie version is available for streaming which itself is a sheer masterpiece.

On a scale of 1.0 to 5.9 it got a 5.7 out of 5.9

Review: Back to the Future Part III (1990/PG)

Oh Bob and Bob how did you go so wrong and so off the rails (littearly and figuratively) with a movie that killed the whole franchise, and now all people remember about Back to the Future after part II is “Hey wasn’t there a ride of that at Universal Studios Florida?” People bitch and moan that LJN made terrible video games based on good movies, well this time it seems like this is terrible movie based on a good movie. Honestly why do we hate it so much? Frankly because this isn’t Back to the Future it is a goddamn romantic western film. Look if we want  western with comedy we’ll go watch Blazzing Saddles (and even that film while a western is basically 1974 in 1874) and if we want romance we’ll go watch Morning Glory or She’s All That. Look we know part II had to have Jennifer in the car at the start of the movie, because he end of the first one was basically a gag, and the creative team didn’t think they were going to make a part II or part III. But its sloppy tacked on bull shit forced melowdramatic  story that makes it unapealing and pointless.  Plus its also just lazy writing that again the DeLorean is stuck with out fuel (honestly someone traveling in time wouldn’t  be that stupid as to take extra gas with them, hell we have quart of oil in our vehicle at all times just like you have a spare tire.) Even when Marty himself says “why do we cut theses things so close” is showing that the series itself is getting tired of it all. We did like Back to the Future the animated series as that put a fresh spin on adventures and not a tired piss poor, watered down steam punk, westernized, bland copy of the masterpiece that was the orginal. Hell had this film been any good maybe the fucking ride would still be opened at theme parks today.

Back to the Future part III Trailer (Universal Pictures/1990)

On a scale of 1.0 to 5.9 it got a 2.3 out of 5.9

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Review: Zootopia (2016/PG)

Image copyright 2016 Walt Disney Pictures.

Big Hero 6 was basically a Disney version of the Avengers (yes we fully know Disney owns marvel so it’s a Disney of a Disney.) using that logic Zootopia can be said it’s a Disney version of Lethal Weapon (before Mel Gibson became an ultra Jesus freak hateful bigot.)

Image copyright 2016 Walt Disney Pictures

Yea it’s a buddy cop movie well half cop as one isn’t a cop. But everything that made the Lethal Weapon franchise so perfect is here in a PG rated form. The cop cliches are all around you in this fresh flick, and it works on all levels. It’s seeing it through the eyes of the animals we see ourselves in how stereotyping and prejudices reflect in our own society. Yes the plot is simplistic missing animals case that eventually leads to something bigger. But built on that simplistic is smart and well written buddy cop banter, seriously just take Riggs and make him a Fox and Murdock and make him a bunny, set it in LA 1987 and it still work. In fact the DMV scene is one of the hallmarks of the movie, with how it relates to our society and its obsession with time management. Other top plot points, are Judy going from fresh faced cop cadet to jaded parking attendant in a matter of just days like most people with their jobs. Disney scores again with a high caliber high concept story that’s easily in our top 3 Disney films with the likes of Aladdin and Big Hero 6. It is quite possibly the best movie of 2016.

Zootopia Trailer (Walt Disney Pictures/2016)

On a scale of 1.0 to 5.9 it got a 5.8 out of 5.9

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Review: Bon Voyage Charlie Brown (and don’t come back) (1980/PG)

The Peanuts Movie isn’t the first time Charlie Brown hit theaters. Snoopy and the gang first did it in 1977 but it was their second outing in 1980 that was the masterpiece. This film is more coherant with its over all story where as the other films are more of a series of sketches tied togeher in an over all ark. The characters are also more three diementional which we actuallly give credit by having characters like the all around bitch (yes well call her a bitch so deal with it) Lucy, and Mr. OCD / Aspergers Schroder only in the story for the first 10 minuets. However there is still plenty of comedy with perpetual dolt and forever missing the point Pepperment Patty, whos level of cluelessness makes you wonder if she as picked to be an exchange student as her school actually wanted to get rid of her for two weeks. 

Bon Voyage Charlie Brown (and don’t come back) Trailer (Paramount Pictures/1980)

On a scale of 1.0 to 5.9 it got a 5.2 out of 5.9

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Review : Clock Stoppers (2002/PG)

Remember Disney live action films before Pirates of the Carribeian was released? Yeah this is how the Nickleodeon movies entry Clockstoppers is. The film is one its not  terrible, but still it has more of a campy made for TV movie feel. That’s not a bad thing, but makes us wonder why wasn’t it just aired on Nickleoden in the first place. We like Jonathan Frakes as a director, and frankly we were disappointed that he didn’t make a cameo in this movie. Breaking it down as kids sci fi film it works, but as a standard sci film it comes up short. It good but forgettable, one of those you got two hours, then it will fill it for you.

Clock Stoppers Trailer (Paramount Pictures/2002)

On a scale of 1.0 to 5.9 it got a 3.5 out of 5.9

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