Friday Special: Odd Thomas (2013/NR)

Look we know we said we’re trying to be more positive when it comes to our movie reviews, but when a film pisses is off we’re going to yell and point fingers. Odd Thomas was a good movie until the last 2 minuets (give or take) of the film that like Into the Woods (don’t worry that review is coming) fucks it up so badly you have to watch a pallet cleanser after it (for us it was Reno 911: Miami.) So what did this film do so wrong to piss us off? As usual it’s another bad case of Star Trek 2 syndrome. The character Stormy dies at the end for no good reason. So let’s play the blame game, that would lie squarely on writer-director Stephen Sommers. How dare he pull the rug out from under us after we gave him 90 minuets of our time, it’s rude, selfish, and downright egotistical horseshit that makes us hard movies so much! Seriously this guy brought us The Mummy, and G.I. Joe, exactly how did fuck up so bad it’s on par with Michael Arndt. Yes everyone can argue “But it was based on a book so blame its author Dean Koontz.” Bullshit we say, so many movies are based on books (loosely based is more accurate) but they change details so much its an original story, so in the end the screen writer is the total asshole and to blame for this cinematic turd, that was killed by the last 2 fucking minuets!

On a scale of 1.0 to 5.9 it got a 1.4 out of 5.9

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Review : How to Train Your Dragon 2 (2014/PG)

When a film is directed by one person and its a sequel to the first film they co-directed, they more or less have their head up their own ass, that would be director Dean DeBois and turd on a stick that is How to Train Your Dragon 2. You know a film fucked up royally when we didn’t even finish the movie. We stopped watching when Hiccups dad was killed by Toothless because the villian commanded him using the bad alpha dragon. We call this Star Trek 2 syndrome and boy did this film have really bad case of it. The giant red flag was looking at the production background of the movie on Wikipedia (yes we actually do our homework on the films and TV shows we review) the director actually cited his influence for movie was Empire Strikes Back (the worst of Star Wars movies.) This is a family film, it needs to be light and fluffy, not gloom and doom like the Michael Arndt written shit fest that was Toy Story 3. Movies are a form of escapist entertainment, but when we had to stop the film to escape from it, then it fucked up and failed so badly it’s in a rare club of terrible that so few turds of a motion picture have managed to pull off. Boo to this film and shame on the director!

How to Train Your Dragon 2 Trailer (DreamWorks Animation/2014)

On a scale of 1.0 to 5.9 it got a 1.0 out of 5.9

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